Walk into the room like you already own it. Speak as if you already have validation and approval. Get into a place like you belong there. To some people, this comes naturally. Belonging, being, is a birth right. Others, strong encouragement from the more intellectually mature early caregivers instils this strong sense of self. Sure, I’m sure self-doubt surfaces from these people now and then but they always have an unchanging reference point on which to restore their well-crafted composure and self. For most people, confidence is a struggle. Before you roll your eyes and pass this off as some psychological analysis which is bound to be followed by unfounded advice from someone who ‘knows from experience’, you are wrong. Not to hurt you ego or anything.
I’d like to focus on the confidence you need to walk into a professional environment and say exactly what is on your mind. Most of us just assume that the guy who talks the loudest knows the best. This is not necessarily the case. Science or Art? Who cares? During my varsity years, talking in front of the whole class used to terrify me. Never mind that I was a confident A student in high school. Suddenly I felt like I was thrown at a deep end of the pool and other people were better that me: smarter, more knowledgeable, more cosmopolitan and what have you. The truth is: some of them were, and others not.
I realised that this was not a reason to hold back and disappear, however. Those who did participate in class did not say something that was extraordinarily smart, it was mostly something I was mostly thinking of myself. Whatever box you prefer to put yourself in, ensure that it’s not too small for you to imagine better. Even those loud speaking, big shots have moments of self-doubt, so just be. Make a fool of yourself: It’s done me wonders! Don’t sweat the small stuff because you know what: It’s all the small stuff!
Being confident is your right, your choice, no one has it all the time but if you can just get over yourself for a moment and stop obsessing about your insecurities: you will succeed. Try this: Imagine you are wrong about how the world of work, the politics, the perceptions, you own self-defeating constraints or whatever, just for a day and just give yourself a fresh perspective, or just pretend your way through it.
Sindiswa Dlamini
